Old School Love

Hello, friends. It's been a while. Yes, a long while.... How have you been?

I'm taking a big leap of faith here but I thought I'd share some of my most recent writing with you all. Truth is I've been doing a lot of it, but in a sea of thousands of blogs... I've kept them all to myself to not further saturate your feeds. A whole year of contained blogging makes Dezi something something.

Well... maybe it's time to break the silence. Last night, I shared a raw version of this outpour with someone I trust and respect. Now, I'm sharing it with you, internet world. I'd love to see a great dialogue come out of this post, but if not, if anything, I hope it's an enjoyable read that leaves you with some food for thought. Here goes nothing.

When was the last time you told someone how you feel in more than 140 characters?

Don't get me wrong.... I work in the tech world, and my whole day, my existence, is supported by technology. It makes our lives easier, more convenient, it DOES allow for easier communication, realtime access to someone else. I love that about technology.

But, somedays I wish we could go back to the days when we used to handwrite notes to someone we loved, or received notes that we'd carry in our wallet for days just to feel those butterflies every time we read it.

Let's face it. The days when you'd meet someone and they'd write their phone number in a napkin and you'd carry it with you everywhere, feeling like you'd just won the lottery...until you got the courage to pick up the phone and say hello are long gone....

Technology has taken some of that romanticism away...

I feel sometimes we can take that fast-paced tool for communication for granted. Make it the norm, not the exception. We take the time out of our day to schedule meetings or provide feedback in a quick blurb, but not to let someone know they are on our mind. How beautiful life is beside them. Our passion, devotion, and emotion, can sometimes get lost in translation when tech takes over.

Am I weird for missing the days of poetry? For caring about the preservation of old school romance? For missing handwritten notes with some letters blurred out by ink smudged after a human had put their emotions into paper?

Is there a healthy balance between technology and love?

For me at least, written displays of affection to those you care about, are the equivalent to picking up your favourite novel, which you could read a hundred times over, or watching your favourite movie, or listening to your favourite song...taking away something different every time. Nothing beats that feeling. It all comes back to you. It sparks a reaction. It lets you remember how they felt in that moment. That day. Regardless of what may have happened after. Life is about moments.

As with any writing piece, here's an example to tie it all in together:

When my parents met, back when they were still very much in love, before the divorce and the pain and the awkward silences.... my dad used to create special projects for my Mom he'd later on mail to her as they lived in the Mexican equivalent of driving to Montreal and Niagara.... He would write songs for her, or listen to 70s funk/soul/motown or classic rock with lyrics which reminded him of her. He'd record those songs into tapes which he'd send to my Mom along with a binder with the lyrics to every song... handwritten or typed into a typewriter, since Google and the internet, for that matter, where he could copy/paste and hit print, were simply not available options. He would also include poems he'd write her in the middle of the night when he just couldn't sleep....

These binders would get mailed to my Mom often... full of stories, poetry, and a deep sense of commitment to his feelings for her. When she would visit him, or he'd visit her, every photo they took together, tickets of trains, buses, attractions, or sights, sometimes even coasters in a restaurant, would be added to the binders with blurbs of what those moments meant.....

Getting to see those binders, in my adult years, was almost like revisiting a history book, a documentary of the early years of their relationship. Music was always a catalyst to express what words sometimes could barely scratch the surface. I couldn't help but feel emotional about it all. As painful as realizing that period was over for them, that it would never have the chance to happen again...... I was captured by what I saw, and will always remember it as one of my favourite memory of my parent's relationship. Even if I wasn't there for it.

Words and actions go a long way, yes. But we are human and our memory isn't always the greatest. There's got to be value to being able to revisit moments and feel all over again the same emotions being poured into pen and paper... what THAT specific moment felt like. That which can never be duplicated.

What things do you create/do/say to those you love to let them feel the human emotion that no piece of technology can recreate? What were your parents like when they'd just begin courting one another? Did you ever get to see anything like what I described?

Take a second to let someone know you love them after you read this blog, if you've made it this far.

Don't text them. Don't e-mail them. Write it on a post-it, mail it in a letter, deliver it to their doorstep. Think of it as 'old school love' day.